Addiction / Betrayal

The Great Sex Rescue

The Great Sex Rescue

I’ve seen many clients find healing through the corrective messages in this book. There were even misbeliefs and misconceptions I grew up believing that made me stop in my tracks when reading. ⁣
Sheila, Rebecca, & Joanna’s research of over 20,000 women backs up their theory that the evangelical church has, with no intention to harm, spread some harmful messages about sexuality over time. Especially in best-selling Christian books.
⁣The Great Sex Rescue highlights and refutes harmful messages while underscoring a healthy, sacred, biblical sexuality. ⁣I couldn’t recommend this book more! ⁣

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Books to Avoid

Books to Avoid

As a trauma-informed therapist, these are books I cannot support or endorse in good conscience.

Many of these books:

  • are not edifying in seeking a healthy intimacy

  • overlook accountability necessary in abuse recovery

  • dismiss the power of sanctification in overcoming addictions and abuse

  • lack a trauma-model perspective

Numerous clients have reported damaging and harmful effects in response to these books and in some cases have reported their abusive circumstances worsened upon reading them.

Here are some books listed below that we DO NOT recommend reading:

Every Man’s Battle (any edition, any version) by Stephen Arterburn & Fred Stoeker

Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs by Emerson Eggerichs

Help Her Heal: An Empathy Workbook for Sex Addicts to Help their Partners Heal

Help Her Heal: An Empathy Workbook for Sex Addicts to Help their Partners Heal

An excellent tool for any recovering sex addict who desires healing for his spouse/ partner. As addicts recognize the damaging effects their sexual addictions and Integrity Abuse Disorder (see Dr. Omar Minwalla’s research and terminology) had on their spouses, they realize they need help to learn how to empathize further with her. Learn ways to help her heal!

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Wired for Intimacy: How Pornography Hijacks the Male Brain

Wired for Intimacy: How Pornography Hijacks the Male Brain

Our culture is steeped in pornography and the sexual exploitation of women. It changes the way we view human beings, sexuality, their value, and the nature of relationships. This book will unpack the impact of pornography on the brain and discusses what can be done about it. Viewing pornography impedes healthy intimacy and attachment.

“Struthers exposes false assumptions and casts a vision for a redeemed masculinity, showing how our sexual longings can actually propel us toward sanctification and holiness in our bodies. With insights for both married and single men alike, this book offers hope for freedom from pornography.” ~Amazon

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To find more books on this subject click here.

Your Sexually Addicted Spouse

Your Sexually Addicted Spouse

Dr. Barbara Steffens and Marsha Means highlight the growing societal problem of sex addiction and compulsive sexual behavior. She recognizes that spouses of sex-addicts are often alone and lack the opportunity for trauma-informed therapy. This book outlines groundbreaking research showing the post-traumatic stress impact that sexual betrayal has on partners. With insights, strategies, and crucial steps to find healing, this book offers empowerment and hope for betrayed partners.

*Disclaimer: While there are so many practical tools offered in this book, I do not recommend or endorse EMDR or any similar therapies.

WARNING: The cover picture on the older editions (shown on Amazon) could be triggering to an individual navigating betrayal trauma.

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Intimate Deception

Intimate Deception

What an EXCELLENT resource to help you navigate through the painful journey of betrayal trauma.

*Disclaimer: While there are so many practical tools offered in this book, I do not recommend or endorse EMDR or any similar therapies.

“Drawing from her experience both as a marriage and family therapist and a woman who personally experienced the devastation of sexual betrayal, Dr. Sheri Keffer walks women impacted by betrayal through the pain and toward recovery. She explains how the trauma of betrayal affects our minds, bodies, spirits, and sexuality. She offers practical tools for dealing with emotional triggers and helps women understand the realities of sexual addiction. And she shows women how to practice self-care, develop healthy boundaries, protect themselves from abuse or manipulation, and find freedom from the burden of shame and guilt.” ~ Amazon

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Worthy of Her Trust: What You Need to Do to Rebuild Sexual Integrity and Win Her Back

Worthy of Her Trust: What You Need to Do to Rebuild Sexual Integrity and Win Her Back

This book will encourage the possibility of rebuilding trust in your marriage. Jason Martinkus (primary author) gives exercises and tools to guide you to more effective transparency in your relationships, more daily trust-building strategies, and shines a light on what forgiveness and restitution look like.

*Disclaimer: While there are so many gems in this book about truth-telling, abdicating privacy when having had past patterns of dishonesty, and unpacking shame, there is a misconception of the sanctification process. We believe that God never intended for us to deal with sexual temptations and while we agree that as long as we live on this earth that we will be inundated with temptations, we vehemently believe he can free us from ANY temptation and can work the sanctification process in us if we are willing.

**Though we like some aspects of this book, we do not endorse all of Arterburn’s books. See our books of caution here.

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Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing

Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing

Due to its ground-breaking research, this book explores the “why” behind unwanted sexual choices.

”Although many of us feel ashamed and unwanted after years of sexual brokenness, the book invites the reader to see that behavior as the very location God can most powerfully work in their lives. Counselors, pastors, and accountability partners of those who experience sexual shame will also find in this book the deep spiritual and psychological guidance they need to effectively minister to the sexually broken around them.” - Amazon

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BOUNDARIES: WHEN TO SAY YES, HOW TO SAY NO TO TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE

BOUNDARIES: WHEN TO SAY YES, HOW TO SAY NO TO TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE

In this book the authors outline 10 laws of boundaries while giving you biblically based answers on how to set appropriate boundaries with your spouse, children, friends, coworkers, and even yourself. 

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